Chapter 1: The Nature of Envy

Envy often becomes more pronounced when we perceive others as being like ourselves. Imagine encountering someone who shares your background—similar hometown, education, career, and even comparable looks and intelligence. Now picture them achieving something you desire, leading to an undeniable sense of tension. How did they attain this success while you did not?

This feeling of envy is heightened precisely because of that similarity. Why do they deserve to have what you feel you could also have? The emotional turmoil can be overwhelming.

Aristotle described envy as the discomfort one feels when witnessing another's good fortune. This sensation emerges from a perception of lacking something that someone else possesses, often leading to feelings of inferiority. It's essential to note the term "fortune," as it implies that the good thing may not always be rightfully deserved.

For example, many people envy Kim Kardashian, but who decided that her fame is inherently positive? What leads others to believe that her notoriety would be beneficial for them as well? Fame acts as a neutral catalyst for power, with both positive and negative consequences. However, from a distance, only the positive aspects are visible, while the accompanying challenges fade into obscurity. This creates a fertile ground for envy, as individuals mistakenly assess fame as predominantly beneficial without considering the complexities tied to it.

Section 1.1: The Dual Faces of Envy

Envy exists in two distinct forms: benign and malignant.

Benign envy arises when someone feels slightly inferior due to another's success, often motivating them to improve their own circumstances. This form of envy lacks significant hostility towards the envied individual.

Conversely, malignant envy can lead to deep resentment. It requires a stronger emotional response to shift from benign feelings to outright hostility. This form of envy results in a desire to diminish the value of the envied person's achievements, stemming from the belief that their success encroaches upon one's own worth.

Consider an individual from your past who secures a coveted job through nepotism. Initially, it may provoke jealousy due to the perception of an unearned advantage. However, if that person excels in their role, the pain of envy intensifies. What once seemed undeserved may now appear well-earned, deepening your sense of similarity and amplifying your emotional distress.

Subsection 1.1.1: The Role of Narcissism

The myth of Narcissus illustrates another dimension of envy. Instead of loving another, Narcissus becomes infatuated with his own reflection, envying the idealized version of himself. This obsession stems from the pain of recognizing that he cannot attain that ideal, leading to a profound inability to form connections with others.

Narcissism may not arise solely from self-love but rather from an intense longing to embody an ideal self. This mindset creates a painful gap between one's actual self and the desired self, making genuine relationships elusive.

Chapter 2: Overcoming Envy Through Love

In Dante's "Purgatorio," envious souls experience a fitting punishment: their eyes are sewn shut to prevent them from seeing what they covet. This brutal remedy suggests that seeing and wanting are intrinsically linked, making it difficult to separate the two.

Yet, there's a more compassionate remedy. In "Paradiso," love is presented as a counter to envy. Piccarda, a shy nun, explains that the blessings of others do not diminish her own; instead, they are part of a collective grace bestowed by God. Embracing joy for others' successes can alleviate the pain of envy.

Christian teachings advocate for overcoming envy through love—encouraging individuals to cherish not only their neighbors but even those who seek to harm them. If everyone is part of a greater community, then the good fortune of one can be shared by all.

Today, many succumb to the temptation of envy, especially in the age of social media. The constant comparisons amplify feelings of inadequacy, as individuals publicly lament the perceived better lives of others. The illusion of superiority enhances their suffering, leading them to celebrate the failures of those they envy rather than finding joy in their own lives.

To mitigate envy, it's essential to recognize the fluid nature of identity. Distancing oneself from the envied object can lessen the pain of comparison. Acknowledging different life stages or experiences can help alleviate the burden of envy.

The first video, "American Things That Make Other Countries JEALOUS!" delves into cultural phenomena that spark envy across borders, exploring how perceptions of success vary globally.

The second video, "Jealous Or Envious of Someone? You need THIS | Mel Robbins," provides insights into handling feelings of jealousy and envy, offering practical advice for personal growth and self-acceptance.