Section 1.1: The Weight of Expectations

What can you do when it feels like you’re stuck? Despite your dedication, positive habits, and self-control, progress sometimes seems elusive. Everywhere we look, stories of success are celebrated. We hear tales of individuals who faced adversity, overcame it, and eventually triumphed.

The notion of winning dominates the conversation. The classic hero's journey is supposed to conclude with a victory, leaving no room for the tales of perseverance that come before it. There’s no narrative in the relentless hours spent job hunting, networking, or honing your skills—until that dream job is secured. No one shares the struggle of writing daily when the glamorous book deal is still a dream. No one talks about the daily commitment to fitness when that marathon victory is yet to be achieved.

Our social media feeds are overflowing with winning stories:

“How I built a six-figure income while working just three hours a day!”

“How I clinched the championship title in my favorite sport!”

And here we are, seated at our desks, pondering our paths to victory. Regardless of our efforts, it often feels like we are stuck in a cycle of defeat.

This leads us to ponder: Are only the winners allowed to tell their tales? What about the rest of us, those who feel like failures? We often silence ourselves out of embarrassment. We hesitate to reveal that even with setbacks, we rise each day, don our metaphorical armor, and face the world.

Even when each day brings another disappointment, we still show up.

And that’s our strength.

If no one else recognizes our efforts, we can still applaud ourselves. We can honor our determination not to surrender. We can celebrate our resilience, our desire to thrive, and our choice to reject a life of ease and predictability.

We have chosen to take risks, to stumble, yet continue to strive.

Brené Brown refers to this stage as “Day 2,” a term derived from her intensive three-day training for therapists. This represents the messy middle of the hero’s journey, a time when the excitement of the beginning has faded, and the prospect of success feels distant.

"And now you’re kind of in this dense fog where you don’t have the shiny possibility of day one or the running toward the finish line of day three. It’s like hitting the wall." ~Brené Brown

Although this stage can be challenging, it’s a path we have willingly embraced. Ultimately, there’s nothing more fulfilling than pursuing what we love.

Just because our struggles go unnoticed doesn’t mean they lack significance. Just because we may feel invisible doesn’t mean we don’t matter.

Repeat after me:

We are here to stay, and we refuse to be ashamed of our efforts.

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