Chapter 1: The Essence of Gratitude

Life often poses the age-old question: What aspirations do you hold for your future? Typically posed by parents and mentors, I would boldly respond, “A lawyer!” This ambition stemmed from my natural talent for debate, even as a child. My grandfather would enthusiastically encourage me, saying, “Then you can have a spacious, modern home and a sleek car.” Interestingly, despite his lack of such luxuries, he was undeniably a successful individual.

Then there was Aunt S, who lived nearby. She appeared to have it all, yet her disposition was perpetually gloomy. Life’s ironies, right? The flawed belief that many of us share is that achieving a list of milestones — a rewarding career, an expensive vehicle, and a grand house — will lead to true success and everlasting happiness. It took me some time to realize that this idea is misguided.

When I was 14, we lost our spacious home, but surprisingly, that did not lead to a state of unhappiness. The real heartache stemmed from being separated from my father by relatives. During those tumultuous times, I would often wonder about his safety and well-being. My dad struggled with a gambling addiction that brought him into contact with some dangerous individuals. Nonetheless, each time he walked through my grandmother’s door, a wave of gratitude would wash over me. He had made it through another night!

Sharing meals with him became a moment of profound joy. From an early age, I learned that true happiness is not derived from material possessions but rather from the wealth of experiences — both good and bad. Happiness is not reliant on grand gestures; it is found in the significance we give to the small moments, executed with passion. Happiness is not merely a destination; it is a mindset.

As I grew older, I quickly understood the transformative power of gratitude. Life is an unpredictable journey, filled with unexpected turns. For instance, the day you finally land that long-awaited promotion might coincide with an anxiety attack. True story; it happened to me. Yet, one cannot fully appreciate joy without experiencing the sting of sorrow. It’s all part of life’s package.

One of my favorite pastimes is to delve into the intricate tapestry of human experiences, which I often indulged in during lengthy subway rides through the bustling streets of New York City. I observed many individuals burdened by fears of failure, financial worries, and a sense of judgment — not just from others, but also from themselves.

The people who exuded genuine fulfillment were those who had mastered the art of letting go of the relentless chase for happiness. They embraced the rollercoaster of life, acknowledging both the highs and lows, and remarkably, they appreciated the entire range of experiences. It turns out that adaptability and gratitude are unsung life skills.

“Love is not enough; intelligence is not enough; powerful strength is not enough. You may put everything on one side of the scale, but if you are missing gratitude, you shall lose.” — Yogi Bhajan

Embracing change opens the door to numerous possibilities. I had an enlightening realization: while you may not have control over every aspect of your environment, you do have authority over your choices, especially those that affect your mental and emotional well-being.

Sometimes, I wonder how my life would differ had I experienced a more ideal childhood. Perhaps I would be someone self-absorbed and blissfully ignorant of life’s challenges. This brings me to my gratitude: I appreciate the opportunities I’ve received, especially knowing that many immigrants face numerous obstacles without a pathway to citizenship.

I am grateful for sustenance — not just meals but even the smallest snacks. There were days when I sacrificed my own meals to ensure my dad had enough to eat. I also acknowledge the good-hearted individuals in my life, especially given the prevalence of those with less admirable intentions. Most importantly, I cherish my health, which empowers me to give more than I take.

From my observations, I’ve crafted a definition of happiness that resonates with me: “Happiness is the ability to navigate through every emotion life presents, with confidence that you will emerge on the other side, slightly improved and equipped with the necessary skills.”

I am immensely grateful for your time in reading this.

Explore my Legacy Journals, created in honor of my mother, who passed away in 2017. These journals feature guided questions intended for parents to complete and eventually present as heartfelt gifts to their children.

Chapter 2: Embracing Change and Finding Strength

Grounding Meditation for Building Confidence with Gratitude. This mindful movement video encourages viewers to cultivate a sense of gratitude, which can enhance confidence and positivity in daily life.

Marvin Sapp's "Thank You For It All" lyric video expresses profound gratitude for life's experiences, underscoring the importance of appreciation in our journeys.