Chapter 1: The Path to Self-Love

Recently, my therapist shared a profound insight: “To genuinely love yourself, you must first embrace the parts of yourself that you find unlovable.” She acknowledged where I currently stand—lacking self-love—but reassured me that this state isn’t permanent.

Acceptance is the cornerstone of self-love, even if it entails recognizing your struggle to accept or appreciate yourself. As I've matured, I've come to realize that everyone carries their own burdens. We are all flawed, each haunted by our own demons and secrets that linger in the shadows as we attempt to find peace at night. The crucial question is: how do we confront these inner challenges? For me, it has always been about running—not just in the physical sense.

Since I can remember, I've had a hard time being still. I filled my days with reading, working, studying, watching TED talks, listening to podcasts, and running. All of these activities served as a means to escape the stillness and avoid confronting my inner struggles. I used to take pride in my relentless activity, boasting about my ability to outpace everyone in reading, writing, and working.

Now, I recognize that this behavior stems from anxiety.

Running—as a metaphor for life—leaves me drained and emotionally depleted. There are times when I need to stay in bed for a couple of days just to recuperate from my relentless pace. Panic attacks have also become part of my experience.

Clearly, this is not what self-love looks like. However, many face far graver challenges in battling their inner demons. Perhaps having high expectations and striving to accomplish everything isn’t the most damaging approach.

The essence of self-love lies in accepting yourself, even when self-acceptance feels elusive. For me, this means addressing my urge to escape from my troubles through constant movement. Just like professional runners rely on support, I too need to nurture my “running self.”

Though I cannot change my need for constant activity just yet, I can learn to appreciate this aspect of myself. I can provide the necessary support—ensuring I stay hydrated, eat well, and allow for longer, slower runs while also giving myself permission to rest when needed—all in a metaphorical sense, of course.

It appears that the initial step toward transformation is to cease the futile efforts of trying to change.

This video, "Change For Yourself, Not Others," by Jay Shetty, delves into the importance of making changes for oneself rather than for others. It emphasizes personal growth and self-acceptance, aligning perfectly with our journey of embracing who we are.

Section 1.1: Understanding Our Inner Struggles

In this section, we explore the nature of our inner battles. Recognizing that everyone has struggles is essential to fostering compassion toward ourselves and others.

Subsection 1.1.1: The Weight of Expectations

The pressure we place on ourselves can often feel overwhelming. It’s important to strike a balance between ambition and self-care.

Chapter 2: Finding Harmony in Movement

In "Stop Trying to Change Yourself," Ien Chi at TEDxBerkeley shares insights on the futility of constant self-reform and the importance of acceptance, perfectly complementing our discussion on embracing our true selves.