Chapter 1: The Transition to Mid-Life

As women enter mid-life, they often find themselves stripped of their youthful naivety. Mistakes have been made, lessons learned, and the once-cherished dreams of a Prince Charming may have faded or transformed into something less appealing. By this stage, many have constructed their own realms, stepping into the role of a ruler. This Queen archetype, often referred to as The Ruler, embodies a profound transformation.

To assist in this exploration, I have created visual representations of the twelve archetypes, inspired by the insights from Carol S. Pearson's book, Awakening the Heroes Within. These archetypes range from heroes to villains, serving as reflections of our identities.

By mid-life, it is hoped that we stand with confidence and self-assurance, anchored by a solid foundation. Acknowledging our responsibility for our lives fosters balance between our inner selves and external realities.

The Queen often operates in tandem with a powerful counterpart, embodying a partnership built on loyalty and a shared purpose, both guided by a higher calling. True power is devoid of oppression or harm. Both the King and Queen can embody assertiveness while ruling with empathy, setting a standard for others to aspire to.

I once crafted King and Queen fabric brooches, resembling tiny plush pillows, to express this archetype.

Many of us embark on a Hero’s journey at various points in our lives. My own journey began in my twenties, marked by shyness and insecurity. As a high school dropout with a family, I aspired to fulfill my artistic dreams.

Through this transformative journey, I confronted my fears. Despite my educational setbacks, I pursued opportunities to showcase and sell my art, fulfilling my childhood ambition. I sought support through Al-Anon and groups for children of alcoholics, immersing myself in literature on addiction and codependency. I engaged in therapy to navigate the complexities of my relationship with my alcoholic husband, learning that my only true power lay in changing myself—a change that could inspire others.

Over the years, I evolved into a self-assured woman, secure in my identity.

I enhanced my communication skills and embraced accountability for my actions. I learned to be assertive while shedding the aggressive tendencies cultivated in my upbringing. My emotional growth inadvertently nurtured the emergence of my inner Queen. I transitioned from reacting to living intentionally, choosing how I wanted to navigate life.

This journey involved scrutinizing my core beliefs, challenging ingrained thoughts and opinions, and determining what I truly desired. I focused on my strengths, recognizing my own capabilities and ceasing comparisons with others. I abandoned the desire for external rescue and reframed my perspective on my husband's struggles with alcohol.

Changing the narrative within my mind transformed my life. I discovered that jealousy only siphons my strength and diminishes my power. Coveting the seemingly perfect lives of others, especially women in fulfilling relationships, trapped me in a cycle of negativity.

Jealousy can morph one into a wicked queen, akin to the character in Snow White. A true Ruler or Queen cultivates a serene and harmonious realm by first fostering peace within themselves, as our internal and external worlds reflect one another.

Self-care is paramount. When life feels tangled and overwhelming, focus on untangling one thread at a time. Change unfolds gradually.

When the Ruler archetype is active, we achieve integration and wholeness, ready to take charge of our lives. A barren kingdom often signals inner desolation, while constant assaults on our realm indicate that our Warrior is not safeguarding our boundaries, prompting the Queen to summon reinforcements.

Conversely, if our domain is harsh and unwelcoming, our Caretaker may need attention. A flourishing kingdom reflects inner completeness.

Nevertheless, the Ruler/Queen can have a shadow side—being unloving, controlling, and cold. When we feel an overwhelming need to control others or circumstances, we risk falling under the influence of the shadow queen.

Shadow rulers, driven by fear and scarcity, exhibit selfishness and a lack of imagination. They resort to control and manipulation to compensate for their internal powerlessness. Recognizing and owning our shadow selves is crucial.

This acknowledgment does not imply blame for our circumstances; rather, it affirms our sovereignty and responsibility to act thoughtfully in all situations. Quoting Pearson, rulers must remain mindful of how their actions impact others and the future.

The role of a ruler is less about creation and more about governance and maintenance. A wise ruler collaborates with the Magician to ensure effective leadership, as no ruler can succeed without a strategy.

Trust that when the Ruler archetype is prominent in your life, you need not force every change. Often, as we hold our vision and begin to act, the pieces align naturally.

The Queen archetype reminds us that blaming others detracts from our dignity. True dignity arises from confronting and addressing our own challenges rather than denying them. Embracing our limitations and celebrating our gifts allows us to invest energy in positive actions instead of lamenting what we lack.

We strive to make the most of our circumstances, often through our mindset. Just as the Warrior must fight for what is essential and the Caregiver must sacrifice meaningfully, the Ruler should wield their power to cultivate a flourishing kingdom for all.

Always remember the importance of kindness and be wary of becoming rigid in outdated patterns that may harm your kingdom. Living in fear creates a personal hell, while pursuing dreams leads to heaven.

The author suggests that complementing the Ruler with other archetypes, like The Magician, The Sage, and The Fool, can foster balance.

The Ruler/Queen archetype was featured in my art exhibition "CONNECTIONS" at The Marigold Cultural Centre in Truro, Nova Scotia, from September 4 to 29, 2019.

These archetypes were inspired by the twelve figures outlined in Pearson's Awakening the Heroes Within, with each archetype paired with a month of the year. I selected June, named after Juno, the queen of the gods, as it symbolizes marriage and childbirth—ideal for the most popular wedding month.

The Queen archetype offers invaluable insights for women, encouraging us to stand tall and proud, drawing strength from our experiences. We are urged to bravely pursue our dreams and strive to be our best selves.

Barbara Carter, artist and writer, focuses on healing from childhood trauma, navigating alcohol addiction, and living authentically. In her free time, she enjoys walking, reading, watching TV dramas, practicing Qi-gong, and working on her memoir series, BARBARA By The BAY.

Chapter 2: Embracing the Queen Within

In this video, "Being a Queen is Your Birthright," we explore the intrinsic power of embracing your identity as a queen. Discover how self-acceptance can transform your life.

The second video, "Become A Queen - Let's Go and BE A PROM QUEEN!!!," encourages women to step into their royal roles, celebrating their unique journeys and aspirations.