The Madness of Alcohol

Alcohol's impact on my life was profound; it consumed my job, relationships, finances, and health. Despite this, I was indifferent to its consequences. My primary concern was the fleeting high it provided, a means to escape reality and the world around me.

I had almost come to cherish my suffering, accepting it as a part of my existence. It felt as though I was fated to endure this misery—an idea ingrained in my family history. I believed I wasn't meant to thrive in sobriety, and my self-worth was so diminished that I accepted these falsehoods.

Reflecting on this now sends chills down my spine—how could I have allowed myself to descend so low and still resist the urge to climb out of that pit?

Because alcohol is a drug. It alters your brain, affecting both your cognitive abilities and your desires. The pursuit of that temporary "feel-good" sensation becomes paramount, erasing your sense of self. It's akin to losing control over your own identity.

So, why do I still experience cravings?

The Changing Seasons

I used to drink throughout the year, but summer always felt different. The pleasant weather and my summer breaks as a teacher provided the perfect excuse to indulge. I would wake up and start drinking, abandoning any notion of productivity, drowning my emotions in alcohol.

Previously, I would drink socially, but as friends moved away, I found myself drinking alone—a clear indicator of an alcohol problem that I often overlooked. The more I drank, the more disconnected I became from life and the people around me, eventually becoming a mere observer of my own existence.

As spring arrives and summer approaches, I find myself reminiscing about the past. Regardless of my progress, moments of temptation still arise. However, these feelings no longer leave me feeling helpless or frustrated; instead, they empower me.

There was a time when I would have never imagined living this way, yet here I am. This journey reminds me of my humanity and the long road ahead. Personal growth is a continuous journey; there is no final destination. We must keep moving forward every single day.

Summer was synonymous with excessive drinking, but I am not the same individual I was a year ago. My mind may recall drinking memories, but they remain just that—memories. I can reflect on them, but I cannot relive them.

And I won't.

My Lifestyle Choices

As a health coach, I acknowledge that I've faced struggles in recent weeks. I haven’t been adhering to my own advice—I've experienced stress from teaching, leaned towards eating out, and neglected my workout routine. I share this truth with my clients, as honesty is essential in my role; I refuse to wear a mask.

We are defined by our daily actions. Cravings and thoughts about drinking can still arise, no matter how long one has been sober. Yet, I know these cravings diminish in strength when I prioritize my health.

Establishing a consistent bedtime, choosing nutritious foods connected to mental well-being, and adhering to my exercise regimen—even when tempted to lounge and snack—are crucial. From personal experience, I recognize that cravings often surface when my lifestyle habits falter. Awareness allows me to take the necessary steps to regain my balance.

Just as it’s normal to experience cravings even after years of sobriety, the same applies to fitness. We won't always feel motivated. But the key is to keep moving forward.

If you find yourself experiencing sudden cravings or flashbacks, it may indicate a need to reassess your lifestyle choices since quitting alcohol.

Normalizing Cravings

There seems to be a misconception that we must tread carefully around the desire to drink. Some may have stopped drinking without ever feeling the urge again. Each of us has a unique relationship with alcohol, and our journeys differ significantly.

In the past, I would question why I craved alcohol, knowing its destructive nature. The omnipresence of alcohol in advertisements often made these feelings more confusing. Guilt and frustration would wash over me, especially when I felt powerless against the cravings.

Now, I accept cravings for what they are. I allow myself to sit with them until they pass—and they always do. I no longer feel the need to concoct escape plans or distractions; I used to do that often and faced many failures.

It's perfectly normal to want to drink while being sober. It doesn’t necessitate a meeting or a return to rehab. You don’t need to feel anxious or restless.

This is a mental challenge now, not a physical one. I perceive alcohol for what it truly is—an illusion, akin to a mirage in the desert. What is real is the daily strength I gain.

Sobriety is like a muscle that requires continual development. If I neglect it, it will weaken over time. I will remain vigilant about those unexpected moments when cravings arise.

I remind myself that 90% of my days are devoid of thoughts about alcohol; I refuse to fixate on a fleeting moment of desire triggered by a memory or an external cue.

Sobriety is a celebration for me, even during difficult days. Whenever I encounter moments of doubt about why I still crave alcohol, I simply say no and move forward with my life—a life I cherish deeply, never wishing to revert to my former self.

In recovery, many terms are thrown around, but the only one that matters to me is "no."

The first video titled "I've been Sober for 100 Days! | My Experience Quitting Alcohol" shares personal reflections on the journey to sobriety, emphasizing the importance of perseverance and self-acceptance.

The second video, "Why I'll NEVER Drink Alcohol Again, After Learning This!" explores the insights that led to a firm decision against alcohol, highlighting the lessons learned along the way.