Chapter 1: The New Me

The version of myself that exists now is a significant improvement—what I consider an upgraded 2.0 version of my former self. Yet, this transformation came at a considerable price. The lessons learned through sadness have granted me wisdom that I never anticipated. While I might be exaggerating about the impact, the truth is that the emotional pain I've endured has profoundly shaped who I am today.

This emotional turmoil has led to a new perspective on forgiveness. I used to strive to be the bigger person, eager to win back the approval of those who had wronged me. However, I’ve shifted my approach.

Many of those I once forgave have repeatedly hurt me, and I now refuse to allow them into my life. This is what I define as establishing boundaries. On a personal level, I aim to protect myself from further harm. I will no longer offer free passes to anyone who has mistreated me.

The sense of betrayal has been a catalyst for me to focus on living my life for myself. You can label it as selfishness, loneliness, or sadness; I prefer to view it as a form of bliss. Yes, it can be painful to sever ties with people, but they have left me little choice. I cannot afford to risk further damage to my well-being.

In fact, I find that I sleep more soundly now. Although I feel a sense of unhappiness when I dwell on their past actions, the lack of desire for reconciliation allows me to maintain my peace of mind. I’ve developed an intuitive sense that warns me against re-engaging with them.

I’ve come to understand that the only person who can enact change in my life is me, and I fully accept that responsibility. I distance myself from situations and individuals that no longer contribute positively to my life. I no longer strive to be the bigger person; instead, I focus on being the stronger one for my own sake.

Chapter 2: Letting Go of the Past

When I reflect on past regrets and attempts at making amends, my mind often goes blank. I’ve released the hold that past experiences and memories had over me. Keeping a mental vault of both good and bad memories has only led to chaos, and I choose to prioritize my peace over that turmoil. I prefer to embrace my solitude; it’s become a routine for me.

Is it possible that I’m subconsciously trying to erase the past, present, and future? The pain has become overwhelming. I find no solace in confronting those who have revealed their true colors repeatedly. Consequently, I choose the path of least resistance by distancing myself. I refuse to concern myself with those who do not reciprocate my care.

Their silence speaks volumes. I have no intention of stirring the pot for a fleeting sense of relief, as I know that would lead me back to the beginning—frustrated and hurt, trying to forgive their transgressions. I’ve effectively silenced them. They no longer have the chance to cause me harm; I’ve erected a barrier where once there was an open door. Sometimes, this is the only viable way to progress in what feels like a backward reality.

You can’t say I didn’t make the effort. I invested my whole heart into these relationships, but it simply wasn’t for the right individuals. Now, I carry the wisdom I’ve gained as a valuable lesson. I’ve learned how to discern someone's character before they begin to inflict damage on mine.

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