Chapter 1: Recognizing the Journey

Recently, I received feedback regarding my writings where I often label myself a failure. It's true; I've focused heavily on my flaws for quite some time. I've felt lost, questioning my identity and purpose. For the past decade, positive affirmations have eluded me, causing me to forget my true capabilities and potential.

In response to that feedback, I reflected on how different I was over ten years ago. Life back then was far from easy. As a single parent, I juggled a full-time job as a dialysis technician while completing the final prerequisites for nursing school.

I was acutely aware that my health was deteriorating; I struggled to stay awake at work, and my breathing became increasingly difficult. I attributed my exhaustion to the demands of work, school, and parenting. However, numerous trips to the emergency room and finally finding a competent cardiologist changed everything. It turned out my heart was failing due to a birth defect that had gone undiagnosed for thirty-nine years. Urgent intervention was necessary, or I would face severe consequences. The prolonged neglect caused significant damage to my right atrium.

Fortunately, the medical team at the University of Chicago successfully implanted a device to correct the defect. After my surgery, I transitioned to secretarial work, but my employer insisted I return to my technician role after just five weeks, despite my ongoing recovery. Since my body was still healing, I had no choice but to leave for the sake of my health.

I took six months to recuperate, relying on child support to manage my bills, which wasn't enough. This financial strain led me to declare bankruptcy due to overwhelming medical expenses, further deteriorating my mental health. In a misguided belief that I wouldn’t find another job to support myself and my daughter, I entered into marriage.

In recent years, I discovered that I am autistic, a realization that deepened my feelings of inadequacy. I spent too long in the shadows, plagued by self-doubt and a sense of worthlessness.

Yet, it’s crucial for me to acknowledge my accomplishments throughout my life. I have survived childhood abuse in various forms, and I am here today after a suicide attempt. At twenty-three, I patented an invention that nearly reached mass production, but the timing wasn't right. By thirty-three, I wrote and self-published my first book, gaining some sales and even appearing on radio shows nationwide.

At thirty-five, after my second divorce, I enrolled full-time in college. Though I had some credits from my early twenties, this was my first real attempt at full-time study, and I maintained a perfect 4.0 GPA throughout.

A year and a half later, I sold my house and relocated over a hundred miles away with my daughter, something I never thought I could do without family support. I successfully enrolled in classes in my new area, which ultimately led to my job as a dialysis technician.

Despite the fears and uncertainties during the COVID lockdown, I managed to write and self-publish a collection of poetry. This is the reminder I need daily: I am neither a failure nor a loser. My life has had its challenges, but I am capable of focusing and achieving my goals. I am worthy and have much to contribute. Deep down, I know I can succeed.

Here’s a reflective thought on positive qualities and character traits.

Chapter 2: The Essence of Character

In this section, we explore the top ten character traits that define what it means to be a good person. Understanding these qualities can foster personal growth and improve relationships.