1. Somewhat like lizards and snakes, British people come to life in the sun. After months of hibernation slouching from bed to desk and back again, everyone in the entire country went for a walk on the South Downs today in Hawaiian boardshorts and no shirts, with tinny music blasting cheerfully from their phones. 2.…
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I’m 30 soon. All my late twenties, 30 has loomed like a cloaked figure on a misty street, one gnarled finger beckoning me to some dark and terrible fate involving wrinkles, grey hairs, dead eggs, big bills, bigger hangovers, new fat deposits and a keener sense of my own mortality. Interestingly, the closer I creep…
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Sometimes on my drive to work in the mornings, I gaze out of the car window (usually the front one) at passing fields and wish I was a horse. Horses spend a lot of time in the countryside eating. They’re occasionally ridden. They have nice hair. But then the very fact that I am able…
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“Where did you get that from? Guatemala? Honduras?” I followed the Waitrose check-out lady’s gaze to my crotch area. Ah yes, I was wearing a multicoloured bumbag. Not for fashion reasons obviously, but as a nifty hands-free receptacle for any guinea pig grass I happened to find on my walk (I live in quite a…
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I haven’t written here for a while, so I suppose I should. The sky cleared just as I finished work today – like the weather somehow knew it was Friday evening and for once felt like doing something nice for us. I switched my laptop off and escaped my flat for a walk down to…
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Not that I’m a pessimist or anything. I’m just potently aware of my own – and everyone else’s, mortality, and there’s nothing like the sudden arrival of New Year’s Eve to bring it all rushing to the surface. Cheers! In Western culture we have a tradition of marking the start of each year with a…
Read MoreI wasn’t ready for uni to end. It went by in a happy, hedonistic flash and before I knew it I was trussed up in one of those standard ‘office girl’ shift dresses staring at a computer screen churning out generic website content about things like coronary heart disease and diabetes which – let’s face…
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As predicted, I have scrapped most of the scene about Josh and Ivy that I published last week. This is a new one… “You’re up early.” I squint over my shoulder at Josh’s slouchy, bare-chested figure in the hallway. His blonde hair – usually so carefully coiffed with his special hair stuff, is completely flat…
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Since the weekend we spent in Tuscany on our honeymoon, we’ve both been using an app called DuoLingo to learn basic Italian. (By ‘we’ I mean me and my new husband, a term that still makes me feel like I’m a child playing an imaginary game of mummies and daddies). A dream is forming in…
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Every relationship on Earth is different. I’ve always thought the English language is disappointingly limited when it comes to love.
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