I'm irritating myself. Everything I do irritates me. I'm irritating myself by writing this blog because I sat down to write my story and look what's happened. Really I should be packing, or throwing all my old stuff away because we're moving house in a couple of days, but I've just remembered I have a…
Continue reading ➞ On writing, social media and the impending end of Lent
It's the night before I go for my metaphorical wander through the desert for 40 days and 40 nights. As you'll know if you've read my blog from the other night, I'm going to be eating only 800 calories within a 10-hour window every day for the next 6.5 weeks a) because it's Lent and…
Continue reading ➞ The Last Supper (before my fast 800 Lent)
Lent is a test of willpower. Every year, like many people around the world, I renounce things I like for 6 weeks - not because I'm a Catholic (although this is what the official papers say I am) but because I feel like if I don't follow Lent, something bad will happen. In other words,…
Continue reading ➞ I’m trying Michael Mosley’s fast 800 diet for Lent
It's Saturday morning, I've been to boxing, I've had a shower and now I'm eating a crumpet. I always forget how delicious crumpets are. What I should be doing, of course, is tucking into some poached eggs and a protein shake to fuel my broken muscles but, you know....crumpets. I'm not sure I should be…
I've got a little while before I start work so, seeing as I just paid to renew my blog domain name, I thought I'd whack out a short post. I have now been sugar-free for three weeks and three days. Let me just remind you that this includes banning the following: actual sugar the usual suspects…
According to Christian tradition, Lent should be a time of quiet self-reflection and prayer. With this in mind, I decided to turn my metaphorical gaze inwards - and in doing so, I found a dark, empty space. A dark, empty space about the size and shape of a 500g bar of Galaxy chocolate. All the blogs said giving…
I'm taking a quick break from novel writing (it's going terribly, by the way) to update you on this year's sugar-free Lent challenge. I'm 1.5 weeks in and I've hit a plateau. This week was my 'time of month' (I don't know why we call it this. It sounds like it should be the highlight of the…
I feel like I've had an epiphany. It's like the time I figured out where we go when we die (our brains are just transmitters picking up signals from a remote life source, and our 'selves' aren't really present in our bodies like we've always thought, but powered remotely from one single immense energy source…
Day one of my ban on sugar is over. So far, I'm absolutely fine. I'm still alive, still sort of plump. I haven't descended into a shaking, sweating, angry mess yet. After reading extensively about the effects of giving up sugar I was actually expecting something a bit more interesting than this. People report headaches,…
So this is how it ends. This is goodbye. After all the good times we shared together - the romantic dinners, the wild nights when you got me drunk (you always looked irresistible in toxic blue), the cosy evenings in on the sofa with duvets and films, the times you cheered me up when I was…
