Everyone knows losing weight boils down to a very simple formula, which is this: Burn more calories than you consume + time = weight loss. Right? Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. It turns out there is no scientific formula for weight loss. It's actually an entirely random process operated by a receptionist called Linda, who lives…
For someone who, up until two weeks ago, had never twerked once in her entire life, I sure am writing a lot of posts about twerking lately. If you missed my first post, in which I go on about my new daily pandemic twerk from home routine, you can find it here. Now I've got…
Thanks to my body's questionable choice of fat distribution, I've got an arse that's flatter than Kendal Jenner's stomach. Unlike my (very un-Kendal-like) stomach, my backside is pretty much pure muscle; hard as a rock. I wouldn't be surprised it if had its own six pack. Because of my ridiculously fat-free buttocks and my ingrained…
Here I am in bed again having completed my third day without solid food. Another really boring post coming up, just to warn you. There's only so much content you can squeeze out of juicing (ha). This morning I felt so good! Light and full of energy. According to the scales I dropped another 1kg…
Continue reading ➞ I’m not dead yet! Day 3 on my 5 day juice fast
A couple of weeks ago I resurrected my FitBit Alta HR, which had for two years been consigned to a pocket of my laptop bag with a bunch of other gadgets I'd forgotten I had (iPod shuffle, anyone?). I ordered a nice black metal strap to replace the ancient sweat-eroded pink rubber one and set…
Continue reading ➞ Who rules your life: you or your smartwatch?
Deny thy carbohydrate and refuse thy gluten contentOr if thou wilt not, be but sworn my loveAnd I’ll no longer be on the keto diet. As I enter week 3 of my vegetarian ketogenic 'journey' (as everyone seems to be calling it, rather than 'diet', because it's supposed to be a long-term lifestyle change rather…
Continue reading ➞ O pasta, pasta, where for art thou pasta?
Some people came out of lock-down with nothing to show but a deepened loathing for society, twitchy screen-eyes and some early symptoms of scurvy. Not me. I put my time to good use and, with the help of a slow masticating juicer, a smoothie making machine and having a long list of more pressing tasks…
Continue reading ➞ I’ve invented a nutritious & delicious vegan milkshake and you have to try it
I feel like I've been here in Costa Rica for months. In reality it's only been 5.5 days, and only four of them have been at yoga school, which is where I am now, by a beautiful brook in the jungle inhabited by iguanas, geckos, dragonflies, monkeys, sloths and about a bazillion unseen noisy little…
Call me a massive twat, but I like hard exercise. There's something so enjoyably primal about a really difficult workout, like being in a fight. It's kind of unpleasant and it hurts, but you're being true to your inner animistic self and there's something satisfying about that. I've learnt so much about myself through running.…
Can you still be a yogi if you, like me, enjoy a glass of wine (or two or three) and a bowl (or quite possibly the entire share-size bag) of Kettle Chips on a Friday (and maybe also some other days of the week)? Probably not. A yogi, or yogini (if you're female), is, according…
