Everyone knows losing weight boils down to a very simple formula, which is this: Burn more calories than you consume + time = weight loss. Right? Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. It turns out there is no scientific formula for weight loss. It's actually an entirely random process operated by a receptionist called Linda, who lives…
Just when you thought I couldn't possibly have anything more to say about juice cleanses, here I am again with my most click-baity blog title ever. But please bear with me...this piece of information could TOTALLY CHANGE YOUR LIFE*. *Warning: may not totally or in any way whatsoever change your life. It's been 5 days…
I'm over the halfway point on my 6.5 week Fast 800 diet, so to distract myself from the fact that I've got to do what I just did AGAIN, here are 6.5 tips to help you fast for 16 hours a day without killing anyone. If you are interested in my progress, so far I…
Continue reading ➞ 6.5 tips for getting through the Fast 800 diet without killing someone
I have no idea if I've learnt 11 things. This is a very specific number of learnings but it's what I typed, so let's go... 1. My happiness depends almost entirely on food (immediate access to, or the impending approach of). I really like food. Now that I can't eat very much of it, I've…
Continue reading ➞ 11 things I’ve learnt one week into the Fast 800 Diet
This morning I weed on a stick and it turned pink. To bring you up to speed (god forbid you should miss something on this riveting journey of mine) it's day 4 of the Fast 800 diet, which I've decided to follow for 6.5 weeks over Lent. It's really hard to write these blogs because…
Continue reading ➞ The day I finally accessed my body’s fat stores (Fast 800 diet)
According to Christian tradition, Lent should be a time of quiet self-reflection and prayer. With this in mind, I decided to turn my metaphorical gaze inwards - and in doing so, I found a dark, empty space. A dark, empty space about the size and shape of a 500g bar of Galaxy chocolate. All the blogs said giving…
I'm taking a quick break from novel writing (it's going terribly, by the way) to update you on this year's sugar-free Lent challenge. I'm 1.5 weeks in and I've hit a plateau. This week was my 'time of month' (I don't know why we call it this. It sounds like it should be the highlight of the…
I've made it a week without any sugar! I literally had children waving bananas and fistfuls of Jelly Babies in my face on Sunday during the Eastbourne Half Marathon and still I remained true to my promise to shun all sugar for Lent. In all honesty I probably should have just had a Jelly Baby…
So this is how it ends. This is goodbye. After all the good times we shared together - the romantic dinners, the wild nights when you got me drunk (you always looked irresistible in toxic blue), the cosy evenings in on the sofa with duvets and films, the times you cheered me up when I was…
I am fine, according to the doctor. I needn't have submitted myself to the horrors of collecting a 'faecal sample', or (worse) letting the nurse touch my arm vein. Of course it's a good thing I don't have inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). But I can't help feeling slightly short changed. It took three separate appointments to establish…
