If my body could talk

Mesolimbic dopamine system (the brain’s reward system): Hold on a second…isn’t it Friday? You know, it’s been a pretty tough week for her…there’s been lots of change, a fair amount of anxiety regarding the future and a general undercurrent of sadness. She could really do with something sweet and chocolatey tonight as a little booster, don’t you think? Our little way of saying ‘well done’ for keeping her shit together – what do you reckon?

Endorphins: FUCK YEAAAHHHHHHH

Dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (responsible for self-control): No…no I don’t think that’s a good idea. Isn’t she trying to…ahem… trim down a bit?

Endorphins: CHOCOLATE!

Mesolimbic dopamine system: Don’t be such a killjoy, Dorsolateral prefrontal cortex. When’s the last time she tucked into a proper chocolate bar? And I’m not talking about those pathetic low carb brownies she made a few weeks ago. I don’t think they roused a single endorphin, did they endorphins?

Endorphins: CHOCOLATE.

Mouth: It’s been a long time, man. Everything going into me lately has been sort of…green, and…leafy.

Quadriceps: Actually yeah we wouldn’t mind a bit of glucose ourselves; it’s like she’s suddenly discovered leg day. Like, seriously love, there are other muscles.

Mesolimbic dopamine system: See! She needs some sugar.

Dorsolateral prefrontal cortex: [Turns nose up huffily]

Liver: Yup, sorry to say it chaps but she’s pretty much completely out of glucose. I’m about to turn some of her fat into ketone molecules so she can use that as fuel, in fact.

Mouth: Yawn.

Dorsolateral prefrontal cortex: Oh excellent. I assume you’ll remove these so-called fat molecules from her…ahem…problem areas?

Liver: Her breasts?

Dorsolateral prefrontal cortex: No. Obviously not her – no, her problem areas. Her….[whispers] belly.

Abdominal fat: Excuse me?! Who are you calling a problem area? What about the apocalypse? If you take us she’ll just die of starvation. You all need us! We’re a vital energy supply, and we’re endearingly soft and jelly-like.

Liver: You know, I’m probably going to take it from her breasts.

Abdominal fat: It’s the only logical solution.

Dorsolateral prefrontal cortex: But… she quite likes her breasts.

Endorphins: CHOCOLATE!

Mesolimbic dopamine system: Let’s stop with all this arguing and just sit back with a nice bar of chocolate and maybe even a glass of wine…

Dorsolateral prefrontal cortex: NO!

[Everyone looks at dorsolateral prefrontal cortex with alarm]

Dorsolateral prefrontal cortex: I’m sick of you all! You think you can have anything you want whenever you want it. Haven’t you ever heard of self-restraint? Those endorphins are FICKLE, fickle I tell you. Only this morning they were partying because she did an hour martial arts workout. They only want chocolate now because you gave them the idea!

Mesolimbic dopamine system: [Sighs deeply] Fine. Whatever. We’ll have cauliflower and a kombucha and call it a night, shall we? Because we’re immortal and have an infinite amount of time to eat delicious things like chocolate.

Dorsolateral prefrontal cortex: Right. Thank you. It’ll be worth it. This is what she wants.

Mesolimbic dopamine system: Whatever. I’m over it.

Endorphins: Zzzzzz

Breasts: Did we just get smaller?